It’s just a blade of grass. That is all. But it is there, right next to you. The wind forcing it to bow down, but, even without this invisible conduit of pressure it would bow down freely if it knew; if it was able to take just a simple glance into your eyes, it would be over in an instant. All of its simple inhibitions, melting away into oblivion, and humbly not caring. Because it had you, just for a second.
I was much more fortunate of course, I felt your touch, your breath, your very warmth all over me. I carried this blanket in my memory on those nights when you were not there. I still carry it, no matter how heavy it gets. That warmth is still there.
And your long auburn hair, glorious, the smell caked my senses as each strand tickled my face, and our noses touched in the softest, sweetest of ways, moving ever so swiftly side to side as we mimicked the Eskimos and giggled ridiculously.
See what you did just there? Made me smile again, so why do I still cry? I have this memory of a kiss, this smell floating through my senses, never leaving.
June and Alex say hi, they keep asking how I am, how I’m coping. I lie of course, but they probably know that.
With a thought I paint the greatest façade, but no matter the colours I use, it’s still dark. The wind blows away my creation like sand being swept away by the tide, smearing the different coloured grains against the canvas.
It’s not great, and I long for when I can smell you again, hold you again… love you again. I know you can’t hear me, but it doesn’t matter. That blade of grass, it knows just as I do that it’s enough just to be here.
Your dad says hi, as does mum, seeing them helps, but this journey, it’s too damn long and it’s too damn cold! I want you to be happy, I want you to grow old, I want you to love, I want you to smile… even if I cannot. Wherever you are.
I do like what they have done with the stone, even if the acronym R.I.P. isn’t exactly a happy one, you chose wisely when you could… always the creative one.
Remember that old fool you used to tell me about? The one who used to have riddles for everyone, and used to dance everywhere he went? I met him too. He had nothing but good words to say about you, you are right though, he is definitely a little bit mad.
I have to go now, they’re calling me, they even gave me these wings, so at least I can come visit you now and then.
I’ll wait for you, but promise me you will live a long beautiful life, make a new blanket, and we can join them when we meet again. Love you always… Wife.